Hang in there

I have many thoughts on my mind, and I just want to get it off my chest. I don't even know myself sometimes. I know there is something that we could not persist in if there is no way to achieve, and push ourselves too hard sometimes. As I grew up, I told myself that I can do thing like an adult, I know I can handle it well. But I'm wrong, I'm still like a little kid. You know why I love to blog? The reason is myself. I wanted to remind me all the things that I have done, and all those emotional struggles that I have been through, the ups and downs, and it's called life. Maybe when the time I'm 30 years old, I read back again the posts that I have written for the past 10 years, it will be very interesting. Hah... I am blogger. ; )

You know what. There is something that I don't like to tell others. I am jealous. She has a wonderful boyfriend, and he has beautiful girlfriend. And I? What do I have? Nope. I always hurt people, and I don't deserve to have someone to love me. Every time when people asked me about my boyfriend, and I answered them, "I'm sorry. I don't have boyfriend." They would ask me not to kidding with them. Haha. I don't afraid of loneliness, I don't afraid of doing things alone. But still I need someone to lean on, to hug in the cold weather, to wipe my tears when I cry. I don't know why I wrote something about this. Like Karho said, I don't need to pretend that I am strong all the time. I am such a loser. I hurt the people who love me deeply. I'm so sorry. How ironic and contradictory.

p/s: When the time comes, it comes. Hang in there, J.