Lets talk about life
everyone knows that life is short
but do you really cherish and appreciate it?
so what will you do to make your life interesting or enjoyable
what do you think that what is the most important to you
your family, your lover, your friends??
For me, the most important person I do really care is my mother
of course my daddy and my brother
for me, my life is full of setbacks
and I do really appreciated those people who came into my life
without you guys, I am nothing
you get it what I want to say?
I have a terrible experience when I was in high school
I know maybe some of you knew that
but I want to share my experience here
When I was senior 2 in my high school,
I was suffering from the imagination of my death and the funeral scenes of my relatives
every times I closed my eyes during the night time
I could see the funeral of my relatives or even myself
and I can see the bones of myself in the coffin
which was so sad for me
and I almost cried for every nights
and it was so painful to see my loves one was going to leave me behind
and I have been suffering for almost 3 months I think
and I learnt from that
death is a part of life process
everyone will go through this
Do you think about it when you are alone?
it is so horrible and scariness
I was afraid and helpless during the time
and I did not tell my mother, worried that I might scare her if I told her
but I did ask a lot of friends, "do you scared about dying?"
they told me I was so silly, and it was not the right time for me to think about death
maybe one day, no one will mention my name again
and shinn jye is no longer exist in the world
what I really care and scared is about the losing of my parents one day
and you know what
if you do not really think about it
it might happen on you eventually
you need to be prepared, but still
I cant pass through the barrier
I have a best friend, his daddy died last year
he lost the sense of security and the love from his daddy
and no one can replace the position
and I really sorry about that
he has same age with me
and do you know how much he needed to suffer and went through this?
and his personal emotion was struggling
do you know how painful he was
who will help him or give him supports
no one will really understand his feeling, if you have never lost your beloved before
so do I
seemingly he was good
and he still can smile to us
but the inner side, who will see through him
nothing we can do for him
besides giving him support and our concerns
There is another case
I have a aunt and she is really nice and kind
and I love her so much
she told me about her unforgettable memory in her life recently
which lesson her to appreciate what she has now
she has a husband and two kids
when she was 45 years old
and she found out that she has breast cancer
and she could not accept it was a truth
but she told me about how she went through this
when the time, she asked herself, "Am I ready for this? I am so young and I have a lot of things have not done yet, and she has two kids. Am I ready to accept it? Am I going to die soon?"
she was so scared and helpless
no one and no one else can really understand her feelings
even her family also did not how to handle and comfort her
Recall back before I came to the United State
I was trying my best to treasure the time of spending with my parents and my friends
you know what
during the time, I loved to watched their actions, the way they spoke
and I tried to memorize all the small little things to make my memory deeply
and I did really cherish the time
but after I came here, and I asked myself that why I still miss them so much
even though how much I tried to cherish the times
and I realized that mankind is greedy, not contented
not satisfy with what you have
and yes I am not satisfied
the spiritual satisfaction
I wish I could have my parents and my friends here
wish that they could come here to accompany me for studying
I know how silly I am
when the time goes, and I realized that things will be changed
everyone will go through the turning point
and growing up through time and different periods
Mankind is complicated and that is what I could not understand
why the people can be selfish, self center, and cruel
where is the wholehearted or genuineness of mankind
do they know how important of life they are having right now?
do they really know?
what I want to convey is
people please do not keep blaming and complaining about your life
for instances, like friendship
A true friends do not judge right?
A true friends will not betray you and leave you alone when you need them.
there is million of people more miserable than you
they have nothing to eat
they are thinking where to sleep tonight
they are begging for clothes
"Life is full of beauty. Notice it.
Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces.
Smell the rain, and feel the wind.
Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dream."
