Life is short

Lets talk about life

everyone knows that life is short

but do you really cherish and appreciate it?

so what will you do to make your life interesting or enjoyable

what do you think that what is the most important to you

your family, your lover, your friends??

For me, the most important person I do really care is my mother

of course my daddy and my brother

for me, my life is full of setbacks

and I do really appreciated those people who came into my life

without you guys, I am nothing

you get it what I want to say?

I have a terrible experience when I was in high school

I know maybe some of you knew that

but I want to share my experience here

When I was senior 2 in my high school,

I was suffering from the imagination of my death and the funeral scenes of my relatives

every times I closed my eyes during the night time

I could see the funeral of my relatives or even myself

and I can see the bones of myself in the coffin

which was so sad for me

and I almost cried for every nights

and it was so painful to see my loves one was going to leave me behind

and I have been suffering for almost 3 months I think

and I learnt from that

death is a part of life process

everyone will go through this

Do you think about it when you are alone?

it is so horrible and scariness

I was afraid and helpless during the time

and I did not tell my mother, worried that I might scare her if I told her

but I did ask a lot of friends, "do you scared about dying?"

they told me I was so silly, and it was not the right time for me to think about death

maybe one day, no one will mention my name again

and shinn jye is no longer exist in the world

what I really care and scared is about the losing of my parents one day

and you know what

if you do not really think about it

it might happen on you eventually

you need to be prepared, but still

I cant pass through the barrier

I have a best friend, his daddy died last year

he lost the sense of security and the love from his daddy

and no one can replace the position

and I really sorry about that

he has same age with me

and do you know how much he needed to suffer and went through this?

and his personal emotion was struggling

do you know how painful he was

who will help him or give him supports

no one will really understand his feeling, if you have never lost your beloved before

so do I

seemingly he was good

and he still can smile to us

but the inner side, who will see through him

nothing we can do for him

besides giving him support and our concerns

There is another case

I have a aunt and she is really nice and kind

and I love her so much

she told me about her unforgettable memory in her life recently

which lesson her to appreciate what she has now

she has a husband and two kids

when she was 45 years old

and she found out that she has breast cancer

and she could not accept it was a truth

but she told me about how she went through this

when the time, she asked herself, "Am I ready for this? I am so young and I have a lot of things have not done yet, and she has two kids. Am I ready to accept it? Am I going to die soon?"

she was so scared and helpless

no one and no one else can really understand her feelings

even her family also did not how to handle and comfort her

Recall back before I came to the United State

I was trying my best to treasure the time of spending with my parents and my friends

you know what

during the time, I loved to watched their actions, the way they spoke

and I tried to memorize all the small little things to make my memory deeply

and I did really cherish the time

but after I came here, and I asked myself that why I still miss them so much

even though how much I tried to cherish the times

and I realized that mankind is greedy, not contented

not satisfy with what you have

and yes I am not satisfied

the spiritual satisfaction

I wish I could have my parents and my friends here

wish that they could come here to accompany me for studying

I know how silly I am

when the time goes, and I realized that things will be changed

everyone will go through the turning point

and growing up through time and different periods

Mankind is complicated and that is what I could not understand

why the people can be selfish, self center, and cruel

where is the wholehearted or genuineness of mankind

do they know how important of life they are having right now?

do they really know?

what I want to convey is

people please do not keep blaming and complaining about your life

for instances, like friendship

A true friends do not judge right?

A true friends will not betray you and leave you alone when you need them.

there is million of people more miserable than you

they have nothing to eat

they are thinking where to sleep tonight

they are begging for clothes

"Life is full of beauty. Notice it.

Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces.

Smell the rain, and feel the wind.

Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dream."