It was all a Dream

一切都变了

我知道。

是我要你往前走

然而 我自己却停留在那里等你回头。

我没有期待什么

我想把心里话都告诉你

我却没有勇气

我学会伪装自己 掩饰自己的情感

假装无所谓

倔强地把头抬起 不让眼泪往下流。

I will keep my promises.

Hello peeps! How are you guys doing? I have three assignments due coming week, and I have one midterm on next week. Arghhhh I am around with my assignments and tests this semester. I do really want to take a break. Haha. And now I am taking a small break, and blogging about my recent life.

Honestly I have devoted myself to my studies. I spend so much time on studying, and I try to get good grade. Yet is this what I really care? Before I came to States, I did not care so much on my results. I told myself that I have already tried my best on my studies, and I would not care so much no matter what grades I got. At least I have done my responsibility as a student. I used to skip classes (especially English class) and go to Klang to have Bak Kuh Teh with bunch of friends. Haha. But now, I am changed and I do not really want to become a person who cares so much on grades. It is somewhat not like myself compares to my life when I was in Malaysia. I do not mean that I was not a good student when I was in Malaysia. What I am trying to say is I was the person who did not really care so much on my results, no matter it was good or bad. I do not want "Assignment and Tests" to rule my life. God, please help me.

You know what. I have promised some of my friends at ASU that I will have lunch or dinner sometimes with them. And I broke the promise. Since the school has started, we still have not had a lunch or dinner. I do really want to hang out with you guys, yet I do not have time. I am so sorry. You know I cannot go back home late. Haha. Anyways I will keep my promises my dear friends. Okie?

Oh yeah I wanted to recommend you guys a good movie- Sanctum.

Use this link http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sanctum_(film) to find out the plot.

The main character-Josh, he is so handsome and fit. He is Australian. : )

The curry chicken is fantastic

Garlic Nam

Indian Tea

Last Thursday I went to have Indian cuisine for dinner with Euchin at Delhi Palace at Tempe. The food is so delicious and awesome. I was so happy and I felt like I was at Darusalam (I used to go there yamcha with friends during late night).

This is my certificate for attending the driving school.

Haha I went to driving school in the early morning yesterday. The class was pretty fun and I did not fell asleep at all. It was only 4 hours, and I learnt a lots from the class. We watched some videos, and it gave a big impact on me. How dangerous and scary if you over speed, change lane without signals, pass the red light, and the passengers sit in the car without seat belt. I watched the videos and pictures, which how people got into accidents. I am sure you will freak out when you watch the videos. So please drive safely and take responsibility when you drive with kids, and always care for other people. People are losing their life because of your inattention and same to yourself.

Curry Chicken

Salmon snacks

Thanks to Christina for the wonderful dinner last night. She taught me how to cook curry chicken because I failed for the first time. Haha. We had so much fun and I enjoyed spending time with you. I really like your home made salmon snacks. It was so tasty. It is crispy outside and soft inside.

I gotta take a shower first and start to do my case analysis.

p/s: I miss you ; )

What a life!

I used to update my blog once or twice a week. I am so freaking busy that I can't even catch a breathe. Can you imagine how busy I am? Honestly I am quite enjoy it. May be I am a freak. haha. I just finished my test for supply chain management. It was not hard though, but I made some careless mistakes. Arghhhhh!!! I hate myself. I told myself that just forget about it, at least you learn something right. But I tell you what, a little point can kill your whole course. That's why I am trying to do well on my assignment and test. It stresses me a lot. I have geography of Europe test tomorrow, and I have map quiz on Saturday. And I have a meeting for making a chair for the Environmental Design class tomorrow evening. Ohhh I need to go driving school in the early morning on Saturday. See, I have so much things to do.

I went to shop with Euchin last Friday at Tempe Market. Woohoo both of us spent so much money. I bought a jacket at G by Guess. Eventually I bought it back since I had aimed for it for a long time ago. I was so happy and excited. I had not shopped for a period, so it is okay to shop once a while right? haha. I made an excuse for myself. Whatever!

I just can't wait for the spring break; however I can't go to New York and Chicago this time. Yet I am sure that I can visit you guys someday after I graduate. Since my mom and aunt said that I am a young lady. But how do I know that when I am old enough to explore the world? I think I am always a kid for you no matter how old I am or even when I am an old woman. haha. Anyways Chong Pin is coming Arizona to visit me! How sweet he is! I am going to go gun club and horse back riding again during the spring break. I will figure out what else I can do.

I don't know why I keep missing you recently, and your face keeps showing out on my mind. Something wrong with me huh? I just want to tell you that "I miss you." I am wondering that do you miss me too? haha ; ) Anyways I will keep this in my heart.

p/s: "Come, let me do this for you."

Marriage

Every time I go to Yeongher's house to have lunch or dinner, it makes me to think about marriage. Her sister loves to cook, and she always cook Malaysian food for us. I do really appreciated it. Thanks my dear sis by the way. And you know what, the sister and her husband are really sweet, and makes me thought that marriage is not that bad actually. Haha at least you need to find a right man right? I am wondering who will be my husband, who is the luckiest guy. hahaha I realized that some of my friends have found their loves recently. And... how about me? Actually I'm not that hunger to have a boyfriend. Yet it is a good thing to have someone to love you and take care of you right? Indeed.

I'm going to turn 20 this coming April. Sooner or later I'm going to step on the real life. It is kind of depressing, and it stresses me up. May be you think I'm to young to think about it. But I'm sorry, because I'm the kind of person. I'm perplexing about my future, and that makes me to do some actions. In fact, I'm the kind of person who needs the sense of security that makes me to stand for the life. I hate the feeling when I don't know what I'm going to do next. I love to plan thing ahead, and sometimes I have back-up plans. Yet for my future, I really don't know. Getting a job in States is pretty hard at this time. And I have not confidence because I can't speak well in English, and that is my weakness. Oh man, that is sad. Sometimes I wonder why I can't speak well and fluent like other people do. Haiz sad face. Anyways, like all my friends always say to me, "Come on Shinn Jye, take it easy." hahaha

Last thing to say, I have wasted too much money for this new year, and I will earn them back one day. I will stop at the STOP sign, no over speed, and park at the right place. Thanks for keep reminding me, Jason and Jay.

p/s: keep smiling and think positive every time I face the obstacles and unhappy things.

Trusting

I'm not a good liar. In fact I try being honest all the time. And I realized that every time I tell the truth, I won't get the thing I want or in another word, I can't do thing that I do really want to do. The thing is I am not going to do a bad thing. So what is the point that make me tell lies? I don't want to say sometimes is because I know what is your responses, and I can even know your answer without asking you. But why? You make me tell lies, you make me no other choice. I'm so sorry that I need to tell lies. Honestly I feel freaking guilty every time I tell lies. Besides of that, I need to make sure myself for not involving any troubles, or else you will find out that I tell lies. And it makes you to loss trust of me. Tell me what to do. I am not living the life according to your instructions.

p/s: you are not trusting of what you have taught me.

Valentine

Hey guys! How are you doing? I'm doing good so far. Yet I'm busy with my schoolwork, and it is driving me crazy sometimes. I know I always stress up myself, and push myself to hard in order to get the result I wanted. Slowly and take it easy Shinn Jye. You know what, every time I stress up myself, my headache will be coming afterwards. It is pretty scary. I'm worried about may be there is something in my head.

I'm keep finding what I really want to do in my life recently. Yet I could not figure it out yet. But I'm sure when the time comes, it comes. Hopefully everything will be going smoothly. As we know that, life is unpredictable, and it sometimes goes out of our expectation. So what can we do? Different people have different perspectives, and when people see things, they use their own standard to criticize it. So don't hold it too tight. Sometimes let go is the best solution. Find peace in your heart.

Today Feb 14 (Malaysia time) is my dear brother's birthday. You know what, I'm proud of my brother. He is a really good brother that I have ever had. I have known him for almost 20 years. Hahaha. Hey come on, he is my brother. I can clearly remember that we used to quarrel and fight when we were small. We have been through so many things together. He used to scold me. In fact, he cares about me, and he loves me. He tried to protect me, but I always refused him due to my stubbornness when I was little. I miss you, my dear brother. And I always love you. Happy Birthday, bro ; ) Hugsssss

p/s: Happy Valentine's Day. I wish I could celebrate with you. Be my valentine.

I deserve to be happy

唉 大大的叹气

新年嘛 本来应该是开开心心的

虽然没得过新年 没关系 可是至少不要这么多功课行吗？

看到电脑我都害怕 不是要打essay 就是做online homework

一开facebook全部都是你们和家人吃团年饭的照片 是到底想怎样噢

当然也不是你们的问题啦 是我在大大的吃醋 吃醋 吃醋

虽然今天晚上也会有大餐吃 但是我的脑子里装着满满的assignment quiz 和exams.

是读不完 也做不完 是谁会有心情吃得开开心心的

或许我就是那种人 一定要做完 我才放心地去玩

都不知道我表弟是怎样读书的

看他天天玩call on duty 是很悠闲的生活

前几天还买了movado bold series的watch 还一直和我炫耀

拜托 我的seiko也不差咯 是我妈妈送的呢 哼 (小孩子酱) ==''' 哈哈

前几天 心情跌到谷底 每天以泪洗脸

再一个大大的叹气

有太多太多的事发生在我身上

不好的事也就不需要写出来了

好不容易 我捱过了 不再难过

学会看开 不再执著

当你被逼到某种程度 你只能选择放手 不是吗

试问谁没经历过啊

其实 我很累 精神上的累 心灵上的累远远大过身体上的累

虽然才刚开学 我现在唯一期待summer break

很明显的是我的spring break泡汤了

还好chongpin很疼我 愿意飞来找我 虽然只有短短的两天

但是我真的很感动

谢谢你

其实我要向很多人说声谢谢

谢谢你们的关心与照顾

我希望你们都过的好好的

加油啦

新年快乐

p/s: I deserve to be happy. smile ; )

Happy Chinese New Year

my chubby face ; )

Euchin and I

our Chinese New Year's dinner. We cooked ourselves.

Bak Kuh Teh

Roasted Chicken. I bought it from safeway.

Cabbage with garlic

My favorite red onion fried eggs

woohoo we played mahjiong at Jason's grandmom's house during Chinese New Year eve.

I was so happy and I missed my grandmom so much. I used to play mahjiong with her and my brother during Chinese New Year. I miss home so badly. I miss my family and friends in Malaysia.

p/s: I love you guys so much more than you know.

~Happy Chinese New Year~

Unpredictable life

You know what? I am trying to do things good. Yet the outcomes always disappointed me. And I am just making it worse. I cried. And today I realized how fragile I am. I tried to escape every time I faced those obstacles. I am such a failure. I don't know why. The starting I was blaming on God, I was wondering that why He din't do anything to comfort me? Why He let all the problems kept happening on me? I kept finding excuses for myself. I was wrong, totally wrong. How can I blame on my Lord? Every things happen sure for a reason. And I did not realize that. Just do not find any excuses or blame on others when you are in trouble. I tell myself that I should admit the faults that I have done, and not doing them again.

Sometimes we do know that things won't happen the way you are expected. We do know. I am afraid and worried. I am really tired of it. I feel like the breathe chokes inside my throat. I can't either breathe it out or swallow it. It is so painful. I always remind myself that take it easy, be patient. Obviously I am not a patient girl, I want to know the result as soon as possible. That's why I always stress up myself so easily. I know my weakness and I do know what is my best.

Honestly I just want you to trust me once. And I do not know why you never give me a chance to prove myself. I am not taking anything for granted, and I always appreciate the things that you have done to me and all the things that I am having now. I never want to argue with you.

p/s: Thanks for listening to me and you made my day.