Unpredictable life

You know what? I am trying to do things good. Yet the outcomes always disappointed me. And I am just making it worse. I cried. And today I realized how fragile I am. I tried to escape every time I faced those obstacles. I am such a failure. I don't know why. The starting I was blaming on God, I was wondering that why He din't do anything to comfort me? Why He let all the problems kept happening on me? I kept finding excuses for myself. I was wrong, totally wrong. How can I blame on my Lord? Every things happen sure for a reason. And I did not realize that. Just do not find any excuses or blame on others when you are in trouble. I tell myself that I should admit the faults that I have done, and not doing them again.

Sometimes we do know that things won't happen the way you are expected. We do know. I am afraid and worried. I am really tired of it. I feel like the breathe chokes inside my throat. I can't either breathe it out or swallow it. It is so painful. I always remind myself that take it easy, be patient. Obviously I am not a patient girl, I want to know the result as soon as possible. That's why I always stress up myself so easily. I know my weakness and I do know what is my best.

Honestly I just want you to trust me once. And I do not know why you never give me a chance to prove myself. I am not taking anything for granted, and I always appreciate the things that you have done to me and all the things that I am having now. I never want to argue with you.

p/s: Thanks for listening to me and you made my day.