Back to the past

听着周杰伦的“回到过去”

心里不知怎么的 酸酸的 小时候的画面一一浮现在我的脑海里

曾经的我就像个小男孩 头发是非常非常的短 常常羡慕别人的头发怎么那么长啊

还常常被别人误以为我是个小男孩

从小 我的肤色就比别人黑 说真的 我也不知道为什么会这样 是不是抱错了？

可是很多人说我长得像爸爸啊

就因为这样 还常常被别人取笑我是马来人 唉

其实我最在乎的是我的眼睛有时一只大 一只小 最不喜欢单眼皮了

所以我还蛮羡慕我哥哥的 他的眼睛又大 又是双眼皮 简直就是Perfect

记得小时候住在一个小小间的家 可是外院很大

如果现在叫我搬回以前小小间的房间 我的衣服就应该会把我的小房间给塞满了

有点不能想像 人是不是只会往前走 而不会往回头看

但是今天我站在这里回头望 才发现过去的一点一滴朔造今天的我

曾经的我常被女生欺负 或是被酸之类的

而且还发生过很严重的争执 甚至双方父母都出来见面

现在想起来真的很可笑

所以从小就没什么女生朋友 男生朋友却多的不行 那个比例简直就是天渊之别

但是对我来说 是件好事 我也从来不因为这样而感到难过

其实我的人很简单 口硬心软 只要被哄几下 我什么都可以原谅

我很容易相信别人 也常常自作多情去帮别人 结果给自己带来麻烦

我的确为朋友付出很多 妈妈常因为这样而和我起争执

我常说 你不认识 就不要给意见

但是 每当我因为朋友而伤心时 妈妈就会安慰我

以前小时候 我认为妈妈最爱哥哥 也很偏袒他

但是今天的我知道 妈妈最爱我们两个 我深深的感受到她对我的爱

这一辈子 下一辈子 我都还不完 我也不知道拿什么还给她

其实我不是个很孝顺的女儿

记得在吉隆坡读书时 我才回家过几次 每次都是他们上来找我

和妈妈的感情就像好朋友一样 其实我们什么都能谈

只是有时当她知道我心里真正的想法

特别是我想一个人独立 她就会很难过 眼泪就像坏了的水龙头流个不停

我们常常为了这个家而流泪

而爸爸 在小时候 常带我和哥哥去荡秋千

一家四口去国内旅行 吃好吃的海鲜

我和哥哥常常陪爸爸去应酬 认识的叔叔比自己的朋友还要多

别人的家都是早睡的 而我们家都是很迟睡的

重点是我们都呆在酒楼餐馆 一直吃 一直喝 有球赛时更迟才回家

虽然我从小看球赛很多 但是到现在我其实没有很了解 特别是怎么赌球 哈哈

其实我也不知道为什么我是Manchester United的fan 应该是因为我哥哥吧

我只记得David Beckham很出名 唉 我是非常的惭愧

我做错的事有太多太多 说也说不完

虽然那些都已经成为过去 但是有些事就是忘不了 抹不去 擦不掉 可能会忘了一些细节吧

我现在只想说声抱歉

不要以为我长的丑 其实有很多人喜欢的 哈哈

我曾经疯狂爱过 我曾经受伤 我曾经让对方很痛苦

甚至今天的我 已经开始不知道什么是爱 什么是喜欢 有点混淆

虽然我不知道曾经被我爱过的 还是喜欢的人 如今如何 甚至他们对我的看法

但是我想说的是 在那时候 我是认真的 喜欢你

男人常说 女人容易变心 容易反感 唉 我不知道啦

我不爱受约束 好胜心又强 只能说大女人

曾经有个男生对我说 做你的朋友好过做你的男朋友

现在回想一下，你错了！做我的男朋友是幸福的！我很确定！

我的确有时很崇洋 喜欢高高的 有身材的 双眼皮的 鼻子高高的 蓝蓝的眼睛

但是有时觉得 我们的文化有很大的差别

至少我知道我们是在互相迁就 但是能撑多久呢 不想去想

我有时很冲动 想做什么就做什么

在想 我的勇气到底是从哪来的

现在的我 只想好好的过每一天 开心的每一天

我期待每一天

Thanksgiving

Hiking at South Mountain.

I am thankful. I have a wonderful families, awesome friends, and my life is eventful and colorful. I am so blessed. It is all God's mercy. At this moment, I am truly happy from my bottom heart. I guess this is what we call it as happiness. The feeling that I am having right now is indescribable, and all I can say is I am so lucky.

I am going back home in 2 weeks. Can you imagine how excited I am? Probably not. I have not seen my lovely family and friends for more than a year. I know you guys miss me so much. Lets us roll to the max. I just cannot wait to eat good food and drink teh ice at mamak again. Oh nooo, how much I wish my flight is later tonight at 6pm but not on December 12. Even though I just go back for 3 weeks, I guess it is good enough for me. I will cherish every moment with you guys and no sleep for sure. Just date me out!

Thanksgiving dinner with MSA members, Indonesian, and Chinese.

Dinner with Daryl, Jason, Fredrik and Euchin.

This is my first time to have curry fish head in the States since last year July.

All your money is here ; )))))

Oh yeah, I only got one thing from black friday. Too bad, but it does not matter, I don't really care. Yet I did have a lot of fun during the night. We went to hike at South Mountain at 9pm. It was a really good experience. I would definitely go hiking again during night time. I enjoyed looking the stars and having some bad jokes with you guys. I know I am too tan, and you guys can't see me! But one thing for sure, I am still pretty even though I am "black"! haha. Just kidding. ; ) I went to bed at 8 in the morning and woke up at 1pm. The happiest thing was Curry Fish Head for dinner with couples of friends. Oh yeah it indeed made me so excited! We played Chua Dai Di, poker, and beer game. To be honest, I was lucky to win all you guys! I beat all of you! hahaha. I always love hanging out with you guys.

And for today... Family lunch at Li family's house. Thanks for the food and beer!

p/s: You never know the people around you might leave you someday, so please cherish the time when we are all together. Happy Thanksgiving!

Jeg liker deg

十指紧扣 恋人未满

Takk

I have been through so many things this few weeks. I have done a lot of things that I will never forget or regret. I love my life and there is nothing to complain about. I have been so busy lately, yet I always enjoy doing everything. Being a daughter, a friend, a niece, a cousin, a business student, a student pilot, a president of MSA, a worker, and a church member. Being different kinds of characters, it makes me become more mature. At least I learn new things and make new friends everyday. I like that actually. I open up my mind to accept the things or mindset that I was not be able to accept. Although sometimes I complain about I have no time for this and that, it is just a small case and it does not matter at all. May be sometimes I am too impulsive, yet at least I think it is worth it, and that is good enough for me. I take responsibility of myself and sometimes there is no explanation for every single things you do. But things happen for a reason. There is difference between that if you get what I am trying to say. ; )

Anyways, I am so blessed. I have a wonderful family, friends, and everything that I am having now. And also I have you to "sayang" me. Thank you so much.

1.30am

我彷徨

捉摸不到你在想什么

我问你 你醉了吗

你说 你没醉

我害怕 我会为你流泪

假装无所谓

我其实做不到

而

我其实一直在等

Life without curfew.

Second week of November, I have been so busy every single day and night. I only sleep few hours every night and drink coffee to stay awake. Hahaha my life is so good without curfew. ; ))) I still have 2 more days and my aunt is coming back, I gotta cherish the time without curfew.

I actually did a lot of things for the past few days. I am so glad that I actually made it and it takes courages. I enjoy everyday till fullest. May be some of you cannot understand why I was so excited about it. I am just like a bird, wanted to fly away and dislike being restricted. Thanks for my friends who always accompany me this few days and do stuffs with me. Even though some of them are having exams, they spare their time for me. I do really appreciated it.

4 more weeks, I am going back to Malaysia. Ohh yeahhh, I just cannot wait to meet with my family and friends, eat good food, party and travel with my mom again. Although I have only 3 weeks, I am gonna do my best and use up all my energy for this trip.

p/s: I do hope that I can go on a trip with you.

End of October

I was not happy with my school project yet I am happy now because my mom called me few minutes ago. She wants to go Macau with me on December during the time I go back to Malaysia. Oh yeah, my life is so good. ; ) I can see the bright.

So many things happened on October, no matter it was good or bad, now those unhappy things become past tense. Look forward, Shinn Jye! I am looking forward to the coming new month- November. Winter is around the corner. I am going to party hard this time. ; ))))

Let me tell you something. Sometimes we need to escape to a new place and breathe in the new air and blow out the bad air . Stop thinking about the troubles that you are having right now, you should give yourself some freedom and do something you want and enjoy your life instead. When you eventually realize how to live your life, you would definitely realize that all those problems that troubled you become nothing, and it will not stumble you.

So I learned my lesson. I should not get upset easily because of those meaningless words.

p/s: I love you, mom.

Border line.

Today is the day that I would never forget ever in my life. I experienced the situation when you know that you might have to die or encounter the worse thing that might happen to you. I was so scared and it did really freak me up. I could not scream and yell, I just pretended I am fine and stay calm. Can you imagine within the few seconds, I could only ask myself, "Omg what am I suppose to do?" I prayed so hard to my dear heavenly Father. I have so many things that I have not done yet. I have not found the right man yet, I have not gone back to Malaysia yet, I have not said goodbye to my family and friends yet. But everything that spins around my head suddenly stopped. I told myself that if this is my God's plan, I will accept it. I felt peace and calm immediately.

On the way driving back home, I cried. I could not hold my tears anymore. I am so weak, I know. Men are fragile. I realize that when things happen, men just can't do anything about it but accept it. We all know that we might die someday, it is impossible to get rid of it. People, please cherish your life, appreciate what you have, and stop complaining.

p/s: I need a hug from you.

I wish nothing but the best for you.

Finally...finally... I am done with two important midterms. I still have one more midterm for Marketing class. Although it is online class, the exam is pretty hard and high quality. Never mind, I will see. hehe Oh yeah, I got the return ticket back to States. Yet the price is so damn expensive. Anyways it is a good thing that I finally got the return ticket! I was so worried about it, now I am relieved. Thanks my dear mom! I love you always. Now I just cannot wait to go back home and see my family and friends! I would definitely take a lot of pictures and make you guys jealous! haha. I am so naughty, I know!

Jacopo Bettinelli

Friday night, I was skyping with my Italian friend until 4am. He is the one whom I met with him in Venice through couch surfing. How amazing it is! He is now in Beijing, China. Sometimes I just could not understand why "angmo" likes Chinese stuff. hahaha. I like when he speaks Mandarin, his accent is cute. One of my Russian friends is also interested at Chinese. When I asked him why, he just said, "Because I like it!" Good answer! Sometimes you do not need to have a proper reason for certain things you like because there is no explanation. ; )

Aweeee I am getting fat!

Last Saturday night, I brought Monika to my Arabian friend's apartment. Jason came after we got there for a while. Aweee it was an awesome night. Even though I am not good at hookah-ing, spending time with different kinds of people is always the best thing to do! I met with other 3 Arabian, and they all are nice and hilarious! hahaha. I am pretty sure they are really wealthy too! Too bad that I needed to leave earlier, so one of them drove Monika back to her dorm. She told me that the Arabian drives a brand new convertible beemer. Arrrrr Lets hang out together soon! Oh yeah, we are going to have Arabic food in Phoenix. They said the restaurant is authentic. hahaha. So... I guess I have places to stay when I visit to Saudi Arabia. hehehe

Monte Carol, Monaco.

I watched Monte Carlo last night with Angela after we were done reading tons of case studies. It was a good movie though. Now I wanted to visit Monte Carlo in Monaco. I remember that one of my friend's website talked about Monaco.

http://www.rostrum.no/reisereportasje-den-franske-rivieraen-og-monaco

But it is written in Norwegian. It is a good post though. You guys should read it.

Besides that, I also found another blogspot about travel.

http://themustvisitcities.blogspot.com/

If you are just like me who love to travel around the world, I am sure you will like these posts.

p/s: I am always waiting for you to turn back and hug me.

Simplify.

Sometimes I just wish that everything can be simplified. I don't even need to think about it.

Yet thing just goes complicated every time. It bothers me.

Can you tell me what you are thinking about? What exactly holds you back?

You make me so confused.

p/s: Drive the car, play the music loud, roll down the windows, and enjoy the cold wind.

I am coming home.

I bought the air ticket back to Singapore last night without my mom's authorization. I did mention to her about this few days ago, and she was thinking to let the travel agent to deal with it. She is now in China, and I did not want to wait for another 2 weeks when she comes back from China to decide. So I decided for myself. I was so nervous and afraid that I might not get the ticket because the date is so close, the price keeps fluctuating and all airlines are fully booked. Luckily, I got one way ticket back to Singapore, I just leave the rest to the agent to deal with it.

I do hope that I am doing the right choice. The ticket is pretty expensive, yet I will make it worthy. I am sure. I just can't wait to go back since I have not been home for a year! Anyways I am looking forwards to it!

p/s: You misunderstood. I am sorry.

我很努力地想要成为一个很独立的女生

但是我发现不可能

我很努力地控制不想让自己爆发

很倔强地 很不服输地

我真的很不想生气

我为什么不可以发表我的意见

我为什么要这样的委屈自己

明明不高兴 还要假装微笑 无所谓地点头

I need shots.

I had a really great night with my friends. I am so sorry that I gotta go back home. What the stupid curfew! Screw it! I know I spoiled the entire mood when everyone was so excited wanting to watch a movie, and I said I gotta leave. So we all ended up going back home. I am so sorry about it. We wanted to go pub, and then I am not old enough to get in. Screw the drinking age! By the way, I know you guys were being nice to me, and you guys were just saying the positive side of me when I asked you guys what do you think about me. To be honest, I am neither that perfect as you all said nor even a good friend actually. You know what, we truly need some drinks to say something from the bottom heart. We all need courages to say something out. I wish we all were in Europe, so that we could drink some shots and then talk.

You seem like you know what you want, and you are working on it. I am truly happy for you. You never know that I actually care so much about you. I am trying to keep all the memories between you and me somewhere in my heart, may be at a small and dark corner but it means a lot to me.

p/s: Can I get married when I am 25 years old?

你转身离开

我只能远远地望着你的背影逐渐变小

有时我在想 你是不是其实也很想问我 也就在这时候 你把话给吞回去

说你细心 其实你没有 你不够体贴

记忆力也不好 或许这就是你的借口吧

我习惯被你忽冷忽热 你或许也习惯被我忽冷忽热

我 开始退后时 你就往前进

我停 你也停

你到底想怎样 其实你没有想怎样

而我 是否应该转身离开 不再回头望

I am Sun Devil.

My whole body is so sore right now, I almost cannot feel my legs after paddling for the dragon boat. Haha I am so tired yet I wanted to blog so badly to share with you guys about my last weekend. It was really awesome! I went tubing at Salt River with friends. Salt River is located in Mesa and it is just not far away from campus, it takes around 30 minutes to get there.

You guys should check out this website- http://saltrivertubing.com/ Tubing is totally a new experience for me. I got even more tan right now. I am sure my mom will be mad at me when she sees me. Tubing is pretty relaxing, having some drinks with friends and enjoying the beautiful views at the same time while you tube to the downstream river. We rented the tube for $15 per person and it takes 4 and 1/2 hours to finish floating on the river.

Daryl from Singapore

Fredrik

Cong

Thanks for Fredrik rescued me when I was floated away from the team. I got dehydrated after a while, Daryl and Fredrik took care of me. The funniest part was Cong actually does not know how to swim, and I just cannot believe it. hahaha. I really enjoyed the afternoon with them, we laughed and made fun of each other.

I have been here for more than a year, and I eventually made it to watch the real American football game on last Saturday! There was a tailgate party before the game started. I did not know what is tailgate at first, and I finally found it out after the party. It is like a culture, I am not really sure. Yet there must have some parties before the game starts. Tailgate means the gate of the back of the truck, people will sit on the back of the truck and then "Lets party!" To be honest, people just have some drinks, and some of them could not even get to the game because they were drunk. It sounds funny and they just waste the ticket money, but they just do not care about it. So I bet this is one of their cultures. Talking about the football game, I still do not understand the rule and regulations, but the most important thing is you just need to scream and yell with them, "Go Sun Devil, Go ASU!" Overall, it was fun if you go there with friends. haha. Frankly speaking, I am not interested at football, I would rather watch soccer instead. I am sorry that I gotta skip the details about the football game. I was so excited when ASU won the game!

One the most beautiful views that I have ever seen in my life. The big sun, airplane and also sailing boats.

I looked so cool with the sunglasses and life vest right, didn't I? haha.

I found sailing is really fun and cool. I went to sail with my dear Monika at Tempe Town Lake on last Sunday evening. I learned a lot about sailing techniques and the wind directions from my senior, he has been sailing since he was eight. I really hope that I can be a good sailer. And I just got even more tan than last Saturday! You know Arizona has a really big and huge sun. I am wondering why I did not do all those things when I was in Malaysia. I have missed a lot of things when I was young. Oh man, I gotta cherish my time right now. Time just passes so fast.

My life is so far so good! By the way, today is my lovely mother's birthday! Happy Birthday, Mom! I love you so much.

p/s: The way you look at me and talk to me is so gentle and soft.

You made me smile.

I seriously need a coffee now. I woke up like 6.10 this morning and I went to flight school. My instructor asked me do I need to fly another time. And I said no, I can do it. Wooo. I was surprised of myself. You will definitely ask me not to fly if you see me like a dead fish. Haha. I told myself that I need to hang in there. Thanks God that I am still alive and blogging now. I flew to Phoenix Sky Harbor and did some maneuvers at South Phoenix. It was exciting to see those big airplanes are taking off and landing at the Sky Harbor Airport. After that, we flew to Gateway Airport to practice take-off and landing for like 10 times. I was so happy because I did really a good job. My instructor was impressed too. On the way back to Scottsdale, we flew over Salt River and Fountain Hill. The view is just so nice and I was just jealous all the time because those houses are freaking huge with pools. Jealousy is useless, we need to confront the reality and study even harder.

But right now, I just cannot concentrate on my Marketing exam on coming Monday and I feel so sleepy. May be I am just too excited for the Salt River tubing tomorrow morning with friends and also the football game. I am going to watch the real game with my sailing team. Woohoo. ASU vs USC. Go Sun Devils. Fear the fork!!! It will be really exciting and lots of fun. What a busy Saturday!

p/s: You made me smile.

Did my smile make your day?

My life is getting busy and busier. Studying, working, practicing, meeting, and also partying! Oh my life is awesome! To be honest, I do not know where are all the energy come from. But when you have passion on doing something that you like, you will just take it no matter what! This is what I learnt for the past few weeks. There is no complaints but enjoy immersing myself into the busy yet meaningful life. Meeting new people everyday, and I really like it when I find someone actually likes to do something that I like to do as well. Can you imagine how amazing God put people together? It is just so wonderful. Sometimes, I would think that knowing someone is not something-coincidence yet it is what we called destiny! Don't you agree with me? A thing happens for a purpose. May be we could not see the big picture right now, but it is okay. Because we would definitely realize and understand it at the end. It is just time consuming and all you need to do is be patient.

Talking about one of my best girl friends- Monika, she is such an intelligent and beautiful lady! I like both of us have common thoughts for most of all the things. Like I said, languages is not a problem! haha I am not kidding. When I do not understand, she will use Google and show me what she is trying to say! I know it sounds funny, but I really like it. Needless to say, we are so blessed to know each other! I like her parents so much and I always visit her house in north Phoenix. Although I could not understand when they speak Polish, I really enjoyed it. It made me feel like I am in Europe. Frankly speaking, I like Europe a lot! I just like how it feels when I walk down on the street.

Monika's dad told me about 5 sports must be done:

- skiing

- sailing

- tennis

- swimming

- horse back riding

I have done 4 of them, and I am going to do the last one. Honestly speaking, tennis is really hard to play and it was out of my expectation. I thought it is easy but actually not. Thanks my dear teaching me playing tennis! I will definitely practice hard for the next time.

I am going to sail! Woohoo I just can't wait for it.

Tempe Town Lake where I paddled last night with other team members.

I joined the Dragon Boat Team, it was my first paddling last night. Luckily it was "moon tan"! You know what I am talking about right? If you know, it means you understand me well. Paddling is fun and it is something about team work and also timing. Of course technique is also really important! Practice makes perfect! Go ASU Dragon Boat!!!

Oh no! I am getting tired. I am off to bed now.

p/s: Did my smile make your day today?

Do what you Want, Love what you Do.

This is the plane that I usually practice flying with my instructor. Cessna 172- N6254D.

Scottsdale Airport is pretty small.

Cool huh? You need to memorize a lot of instruments and how to function all of them.

p/s: Go for it!!!

Chilling out with the big fountain.

Two days ago, I went to Fountain Hills with my dearest Yeongher. Do you guys still remember that I mentioned about the fountain on my last few posts, which I saw the big fountain when I was flying with my instructor. Here is it! You can't imagine how high it is unless you stand in front of the fountain. It was an awesome evening. We sat on the ground and waited for an hour. The fountain starts every an hour and it lasts 15 minutes.

Those houses in Fountain Hills are freaking expensive, and the houses are huge!!!

I love my outfit for the day. ; )

Wooohoo.. isn't it awesome?

Arizona always has the beautiful sunset.

On our way back home.


p/s: Enjoy your life and collect the best memories.

A bright smile.

This week is busy like hell! There are tons of things to do. I wake up like 7 am everyday! Strangely, I love it! For some reason, you like to go to school and join the school's club, and sometimes you have parties to attend. My life becomes more interesting and colorful, isn't it? Although I have curfew at 10pm, I quite get used to it actually! No matter what, I will try to do the things that I wanted so badly, and I just need to plan well with the amount of time that I have. Sounds challenging right? It is.

I had dinner with my dear Younghwa just now. Oh my gosh, I have not seen her for ages! Actually we had not seen each other like 3 weeks I guess since the school started! Both of us are damn busy! You know what? She said I am so tan and look even darker since we met last time. Arghh.. Is a good thing or a bad thing? I don't know. What is best friend? Even though we don't talk everyday, we don't see each other everyday, we usually don't call, but we do text sometimes like asking for lunch (But we never made it)! Yet we talk comfortably when we see each other. We actually care about each other from the bottom of heart! Same as Kahhui, Yeongher, and also Monika! I love them with my whole heart. I will be really sad if they don't talk to me.

I join the ASU dragon boat team. Woohoo, I just can't wait for the training and I wanted to try paddle since last semester. Yet I din't have much time during my last semester. In fact, I do want to join some clubs at school and also involve more with the school's events, so that I can meet with new people and make friends at the same time. Friends are everywhere! Hooo, I love that! Thanks God that I have those characteristics, and I really enjoy being of who I am. Sometimes, I feel proud of being an Asian. I know different languages, I eat spicy food, and I love cultures diversity. I know a lot of "angmo" does not like Asian and being racist all the time, and make fun of people! Guys, shame on you! BECAUSE YOU DO NOT KNOW ANYTHING! Frankly speaking, I have nothing but disdain for such high ego people.

In the real world, you just could not help to deal with a lot of things. People feel helpless most of time. What can we do? Trusting God is a blessing. When I look back, I realize that I missed a lot of things, and I should have cherish those moments. Sometimes, I look at the mirror and look at myself from up to down, and I tell myself that I should smile. I smile then. A simple smile just makes your day up! Don't you think so?

p/s: Did you smile today? A lot of people love my bright smile. ; )