Repeatedly

What I am thinking right now?

I have asked myself repeatedly

perhaps my heart know it

but I just pretended that I do not know anything

sometimes I really want to tell you

but I just could not open my mouth and tell you honestly

and I am just waiting

even waiting for what, I also do not know

maybe I think too much and I am just carrying all those problems to myself

maybe and maybe

I hate myself just being like that

I cannot describe my feeling, even to myself

I am so sorry to myself