Loser

I looked at myself in front of the mirror

I was wondering. I was musing about the life, which I am having right now.

I know I should cherish everything I have now and I really do.

I do really appreciate it.

Somehow I felt like I missed something

but I do not know what is that.

I looked emaciated in the mirror of myself.

Why I am not happy? I should be happy but not.

Perhaps I should go back to somewhere I belong.

I was trying so hard, but I failed.

I am a loser.

I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure.

I made mistakes, and out of control and at times hard to handle.

But if you can't handle me at my worst.

Then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.

-Marilyn Monroe

Have a little faith

I had a wonderful Saturday

Woke up at 11am and took a shower

I went to Starbucks to get my favorite beverage and read "Have a little faith"

The author- Mitch Albom has written 4 books, which are "The five people you meet in heaven", "Tuesday with Morrie", "For one more day", and "Have a little faith".

I had finished reading all the books and it made me satisfied.

After that I went to a friend's house with Yeongher and her sister to attend Baby Shower party.

Oh my gosh, there was a lot of Malaysian and Taiwanese.

The desserts are delicious and awesome.

I found out that there are plenty of parties in the United States, such as Bridal Shower, Baby Shower and so on, which I have never heard before in Malaysia.

Maybe the people here love to have parties and they created varied parties to celebrate.

Baby shower is a kind of party which we celebrate with the mother who is going to give birth soon, and we have a small gathering at her house, have lunch together, and play games together.

After that we went back to Yeongher's house

I had an awesome dinner with her family

and her sister cooked Bak Kuh Teh for us and it made me miss home so much.

I was so touched at that moment.

Besides that I wanna thank you my dear sister for the dinner.

and I had a great talk with you.

Yummy Yummy ; )

It was so awesome to study together with a friend at Starbucks during the cold night.

The moment I was thinking about you, Isabelle Choong Kah Hui

Do you still remember that we always study at Starbucks and we shared the beverage together

I miss you so much my dear.

Unfortunately the Starbucks was closed at 930pm

oh come on. Starbucks should be closed at 1am okay!!!!

Recently I fall in love to drive with the opened windows and the loud music during night time

it was so awesome and I addicted to it.

My life. My Future. My Decisions.

Blue Wasabi

the long board is cuteeee ; )

cool huh?

woohoo

one word can describe my feeling right now is "high". Ops, please do not think too much okay!

I'm so happy and excited due to plenty of reasons

and I know I eventually found back myself

I am who I am.

Last night I had a long talk with my dear YeongHer and it made me so released

and I told her all my feeling and troubles

Honestly, "say it out" is the best way to heal myself

I do not want to hold back myself anymore, let me do whatever I want, just once, let me be myself.

Mom, I know you love me so much. You do really care about me and want to protect me from getting hurt. Yet this is not I really want.

I am tired. I cried. It's hurt.

I woke up early today for the ACT test.

I took it without concern. Overall, it's still fine I guess.

but I'm pretty sure that the math part is pretty easy. Other parts I just simply did it.

By the way, it was not enough time to do all the questions.

I skipped my class today. I'm so sorry.

I went to Santan Village with my dear Yeongher

oh my gosh, the place is so amazing, plus the weather is so cold and windy

and it made me had a sudden urge to visit New York City

This was my first time realized that I'm in the United States since the weather in Arizona is pretty same with Malaysia-hot.

I could smell the taste of United States. The smell of States.

woohoo.. went to shop again. I know I should control myself from spending too much money.

We went to "Blue Wasabi". It is a sushi and martini bar.

The atmosphere there is super amazing and all the blonde hair girls and guys around us.

and the food is delicious and it was my first time to taste the blue wasabi.

I thought wasabi should be green color, yet it is blue color.

we took photos again and again.

Blue Wasabi

opsss.. 18PL

Starbucks time.

Thanks Younghwa.

You are the sweetest girl I have ever met.

Love you so much. hugsss

love ya ; )

Happy ending with Mi sedap and milo latte ; )

Green Tea Latte

Ice Green Tea Latte with cream on top

my favorite Starbucks's beverage ; )

hopefully I can get one now

addicted to it

most of the time, I tell myself that I can make it if I really want to.

but now, I tell myself that I should be weak.

I just want to be a little girl and need someone who can protect me.

I know if I cry out, my heart might feel better

yet I cry with no tears.

People

People will always walk in and out of your life. Some will stay longer than others. Some to teach you a lesson. The most important one, to teach you about yourself. We would not be able to distinguish which people are here for which reasons until they make their impact. And sometimes, the impact will be love and clarity. Other times, it will be hurt and sadness. Either way, it will teach you something. And what you gain has the ability to make you that much better off. Because truthfully, we will never old to learn how to be happy. Perhaps you are one of the passerby in my life.

Because sadly, sometimes it will never come back again if you missed it.

Our fingerprints don't fade from the lives we've touched.

This is me

I would not regret for those decisions which I have made

I am proud of my myself for my courage

and

This is me.

When time goes...

Eventually I passed all the exams for this week. I'm looking forwards to passing next week and I'm done with all the midterm. Obviously there is 4 weeks more to go and this semester will be coming to an end. I'm pretty relaxed right now and all I'm thinking about right now is planning to hang out and have fun with friends. Two more weeks my aunt and uncle will go for vacation for a week and it's the freedom for me. Yeah. Since I got here for 3 months, every times I wanted to hang out with friends, and I needed to get permission from my aunt. So yeah. Eventually no one can handle me this time. Yet I will send my little cousin to her school every morning and I need to wake her up and even Kevin. It's the time for me to do something for Hartono's family and being a good sister to take care them.

My dear Kevin, I want to thank you for everything you have done to me, and I really appreciated it and I was so touched. Remember when the time I just got here, and we did not talk much. You seemed so cool to me and I was pretty scared to talk to you because I could not speak well in English. And now I love to spend time with you because you taught me a lots and helped up me a lots whenever I need you. Actually you are such a sweet guy. You are kinda different from other guys, yet it makes you so special. Hugs.

I have hugged with so many men in my life, yet I do not hug my daddy

I'm kinda sad and feeling bad and guilty

and I should hug you tight, my dear dad

I love you so much, even though you do not know.

we do not talk much

why? tell me why please.

When time goes, everything will be fine. ; )